Children’s Ministry Online

We’re currently revising some of our policies at Gateway Church. Being new I bring a different perspective to the team. At previous churches I have had the policy that once a child is in Elementary, we strictly enforce the policy of children not sitting in adult volunteer’s laps.

However, the policy in writing at Gateway is that even Preschool (which includes out 2.5 through 5 years olds) has a not lap siting policy. I was a little surprised by this policy. This policy is not currently being followed or enforced at this time, but as we revise our policies we will be having follow-up training and communication. I just wanted to find out what others have as policies for preschoolers. I understand drawing a line for the safety of our children and adults, but is this too young?

What is your policy?

written by Kenny

Since I left Orange a few days ago, I’ve been traveling from Atlanta to Austin. Now my wife, my 11 month old boy and 70 pound chocolate lab are settled in an Extended Stay in Austin as I’m now up in Dallas, TX. Yesterday was my first official day as the Next Generation Pastor at Gateway Community Church in Austin, TX. I spent the Sunday morning at both the South and North Campuses just checking things out and getting a feel of what is going on. After church, we drove around for several hours looking at neighborhoods (we really don’t want to make our Extended Stay visit extended). Lastly, we wrapped up the day with a leadership community meeting at the church with the Children’s Ministry volunteers.

This morning I took off for a two day gathering in Dallas, Texas. Eleven or so churches are gathering for the Texas Larch Church Forum where other large, like-minded churches will discuss issues, successes and strategies in a variety of ministries and departments. So, it should be a great time to get to know members from my team as well as connect with others in my area of ministry.

I should have some time to catch up on a couple of posts I’ve been meaning to write. I posted like crazy during Orange and I’d like to write some closing thoughts about Orange. Good stuff!

written by Kenny

Unfortunately, I had to take a phone call with my new church right when Louie Gigleo got up to speak. My phone call lasted almost the entire message. I came in just as Louie was talking about some trees in a courtyard in China and who the last verse of Amazing Grace wasn’t written by the original author, but some other guy over 100 years later. Yup, I didn’t make the connection. I’ll search the blogs for someone else’s notes on this message and add them here (or link to them here). If you were there, have notes and want to send them my way, I’ll link to them (or publish them here).

Yeah. I’ve actually never heard Louie and was looking forward to it… but that’s okay. I’m not going to complain. I got plenty of good stuff from Orange.

written by Kenny

This session was led by Craig Jutila. Someone said that most of this information is in his book “Daze to Knights.” I knew he had this book, but I didn’t think this was about volunteers. I’ve heard Craig on several occasions and I’ve heard most of this stuff before. However, it is good stuff and I really needed to hear it again. Volunteerism is one of the biggest issues in ministry, so everyone could hear this stuff multiple times.

First things:

• You don’t organize people, you align them
• You build people first and programs second
• You understand that without people, you do not nor can you have a healthy ministry
• Without a mission statement, you will never thrive with your volunteers
• We are all made differently

One of the problems we have is that we often try to make everyone do the same about of work. People are different. Our goal should be to help them reach their potential.

Craig talked about the 80/20 rule. 20% of your volunteers are doing 80% of the work. It’s a principle… expect this. Those 20% are your high impact volunteers. Of 100% of your volunteers, here is how they might break down:

• 5% - Influential: Empower
• 15% - Initiator: Energize
• 30% - Independent: Equip
• 50% - Industrious: Encourage

Craig then talked about how Jesus led “volunteers.”

• 1 Corinthians 15:6 - Jesus appeared to more than 500 followers. He encouraged them by motivating them.
• Luke 10:1-2 - Jesus appointed 72 and sent them out in groups of two. He appointed them to do a task.
• Matthew 26:20 - Jesus sat with his 12. He spent time with them, they were his friends.
• Matthew 17:1 - Jesus took his three aside. This was his intimate group.

We seen in scripture that Jesus spent most of his time with small numbers of people.. investing in them. Jesus spent the least amount of time with large groups. We need to see our volunteers this same way. We need to have a small number that we’re investing in “big time” where we are empowering them to lead others.

A few last points:

• Resist the temptation to personally “fill holes.” It’s not that you’re better than that… it’s not where you belong.
• The volunteers who challenge you because they have their own ideas usually frustrate us…. but they are your best volunteers. They have the potential to lead your ministry. You need to invest in them and leak your vision.
• You’re always going to need volunteers… if your ministry is growing. Synchronizing volunteers isn’t about eliminating your need for more volunteers. However, if you do these things right, you’ll put an end to managing the substitute list every week. Your volunteers will own their ministry.
• Craig says this works… so give it a try.

written by Kenny

Like the Rethinking Children’s Ministry, this breakout was more of a round table discussion. On the stage was Mike Clear from Discovery Church in California, Daren Kaiser from Scranton, PA, Dave Fox from Indiana and Reggie Joiner. Each of these men serve as the Family Pastor at their churches (except Reggie of course).

Reggie began by explaining some of the different models of family ministry. One model is the departmental approach. This is where each department (student and children’s ministry) does it’s best to connect with parents. Another model is the supplemental approach. This is where a family pastor is hired to add programs to supplement parents ministry. This pastor more or less informs the other staff members (children’s pastor and student pastor) what he/she is doing. The Orange model is an integrated model. There may or may not be a family pastor (best if there is) that helps family ministry integrate through all the ministries.

Through a family ministry approach (integrated), the goal for teenagers is not perfect attendance in student ministry, but that they become fully integrated into the fabric of the church.

Reggie perfectly answered the question, “How do you effectively make a children’s ministry team and student ministry team feel like a unified team?” The answer? Meet together. Duh!

In an integrated strategy, you remove ministry silos and territorialism. In this strategy, student and chidlren teams work together on budgets, calendars and other things.

Reggie shared that there are three dials that need to be turned in the life of a child. The Wonder Dial, the Discovery Dial and the Passion Dial. The Wonder Dial is the understanding of faith, creation and who God is. The Discovery Dial is the understanding of how I personally fit into this knowledge of God, specifically relating to having a relationship with Jesus Christ. The Passion Dial is understanding my relationship with those around me.

So, when an integrated family ministry operates with the knowledge of these dials, the team can work together to turn these dials at the appropriate times within ministry. For instance, the Wonder Dial will be turned most during the preschool years, and only a little beyond that (mainly for outreach opportunities). The Discovery Dial is turned the most in elementary ministry and and student ministry and the Passion Dial will be turned the most in student ministry. Implementing this in an integrated strategy allows everyone in multiple ministries to be on the same page.

Here are a few more points made by the presenters:

• When you believe that what happens at home is more important than what happens at church, your calendar will slim down (from events).
• Who owns the strategy to “educate” the parents? It’s owned by the whole team, led by a leader.
• Every parent wants to have the right relationship with their kids… every kid needs a right relationship with a parent.

Oh, there was one more thing. Reggie shared four words and said that most parents fall into one of these four categories:

• Acquainted
• Connected
• Engaged
• Invested

Acquainted are usually the parents outside of your church… they don’t come. They aren’t against God or anything… they just don’t come. The Connected parents are attending your church. Engaged parents are ones that assume responsibility for spiritually raising their kids and Invested are those who are actively involved in discipling their kids… they’re doing this regularly.

written by Kenny

I’m wiped. Really, totally wiped.

It’s 12:45 AM and I’m pooped. I still need to blog two breakouts and another session… but I don’t have it in me. Tomorrow I’m attending the Orange facebook party. Should be fun. Hoping to network and meet some people I couldn’t in the crowd of 4500.

Tomorrow I’m heading out to Jackson, MS (my journey to Austin, TX). So, while I’m taking a break and my wife is driving, I’ll blog the rest of the Orange conference and hopefully post it by the end of the day. You never know what kind of Internet access you’ll get while on the road.

BTW, did I say that Orange was awesome?

written by Kenny

Session four was a discussion/interview with Andy Stanley. Not sure if it’s just me, but it seemed like it wasn’t planned… almost like Andy was a fill-in. I only say this because this was the only session that there wasn’t a speaker who delivered a message. In addition, it ended about 30 minutes early.

Don’t get me wrong… it was awesome though. I think anytime you can get Andy Stanley and Reggie Joiner to engage in a conversation, we should take notes!

Andy spoke about how they attract people to North Point. Basically he said it boils down to this: “If you create irresistible environments, people will come.”

Andy then went on to talk about the process of discipleship at North Point. Here is how it happens:

• Practical Teaching
• Providential Relationships
• Private Disciplines
• Pivotal Circumstances
• Personal Ministry

Basically they would hit these things over and over again by different methods.

Andy also took some time to talk about the idea of choosing to cheat. He talked about how they created an atmosphere where family was valued. He explained that “there are hundreds of people who can do your job, but you kids only have one dad… and your wife (or husband) only has one spouse.”

written by Kenny

Okay, probably one of the most embarrassing things happened tonight. I’ve been hanging out at Orange with an old friend… a youth pastor I served with several years ago. Like many youth pastors, he’s a little crazy and not afraid to make a little noise.

Well, for the first two sessions we sat up high and in the back. For the third session I sat with my youth pastor friend and some others in the front on the far left-hand side of the stage. So, were were pretty close to those on the stage. They were good seats.

Well, Reggie was making some general announcements and then he threw a t-shirt out to the crowd directly in front of him. At that very moment, the YP friend sitting right next to me yelled as loud as he could “Hey Reggie!” He was trying to get his attention to get a freebie thrown in his direction. Since we were so close, he heard, turned to us and said “Yes?” I don’t think he immediately understood. At that moment, the band started playing the old batman theme. Reggie turned around to the band and signaled for them to stop… it wasn’t time for that.

Yeah. My friend yelling at Reggie and him responding confused the band into thinking it was their signal to start the song for a segment that wasn’t supposed to happen for another 10 minutes or so. I think I turned 10 shades of red and shrunk down in my seat.

So, on behalf of my friend, I’m so sorry. Next time my friend has a urge to yell at the person on stage, I’ll knock him in the back of the head!

written by Kenny

I had so much fun connecting with people today. I was actually having so much fun, I ended up skipping one of the breakouts. Actually, it was because the restaurant was slow, but the company was really fun.

The Kidology folks organized a lunch gathering. I feel really bad as I didn’t get everyone’s name. I brought two people with me (a children’s pastor friend and a youth pastor friend). I sat right next to Alan and talked with him quite a bit. Rob Bradbury was there along with Jim Wideman. It was a blast meeting with everyone and chatting away. I hadn’t met Rob yet and he’s such a great and funny guy. He had a great story about a giant “employee of the month” badge and the CPC several years ago. If you bump into him, be sure to ask him about it.

Later tonight I was stopping by the Hampton Inn to drop off some friends when I ran into Andrew Weiler and Michael Haun of The Big Deal. They came in and just started talking to us and we had a blast. They are two really great guys. Be sure to visit their sites and check out what they are doing. I’m going to blog more about them and their ministry in a few days.

Well, I wonder who I’m going to meet tomorrow???

written by Kenny

Donald Miller spoke to us tonight about leadership. It was a very interesting talk. He had a very interesting, dry humor… the type that people would laugh at several seconds after he made the remark when people figured out what he meant.

He spoke about leadership as someone who did not consider himself a leader… but a follower. So, he unpacked his thoughts on leadership by talking about the people he follows.

He referenced the definition of leadership as being influence… but he didn’t quite agree with that. Jesus influenced many, but he led 12.

He defined a leader as someone who wants to get to know me well enough that I want to take ownership of their vision.

• A leader gets to know people
• A leader invites people into their vision
• A leader is always getting people involved in the process
• Great leaders are following other leaders

He talked about how a leader speaks something into the void… he speaks something into existence.

Sorry I don’t have more notes on this session. Donald was more of a story teller crafting his talk in a very entertaining and intriguing way.

written by Kenny