Archive for 'Family'

ReThink ReInvents Family Times

Posted on20. Jul, 2010 by Kenny.

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I must say that I’m very excited about Cue Box, a new resource coming soon from reThink that ties directly into 252Basics. For years reThink has offered virtue packs through Family Times that tied into the monthly virtue. Don’t get me wrong, these are great resources. However, we couldn’t ever really get a lot of momentum behind them. The parents who used them like them, but few committed to using them regularly.

Cue Box is a reinvention of the Family Times virtue packs. The big change is that it’s DVD and Kid driven. Rather than going the route of offering a resource to parents that they “should” use, Cue Box offers a resource that basically does the same thing but because it is Kid-driven, the kids are pushing their parents toward getting it and using it.

Who knows how successful it will be? It probably depends on how you promote it among your parents and how readily available you make it. From what I’ve seen, the production value seems high (personally I think it’s on a significantly higher level than any of their other video content) and I can’t imagine that the content is anything less than excellent.

Click here to visit Studio252.tv and learn more about Cue Box. This resource begins with September’s virtue, so you don’t want to miss your opportunity to get in on the ground floor.

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Best commercial I’ve seen about parents in years

Posted on20. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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This is a silly commercial advertising the Toyota Sienna. I laughed out loud many times.


Toyota Sienna – Swagger Wagon

I think what I like most about this commercial were the parents and they way they were portrayed. Really, it was a commercial geared to mini-van moms and dads showing how cool you might be driving a Sienna. Although these parents might be a little over confident (and arrogant), they look like pretty good parents. They’re engaged in their kids lives. Period. When statistics say that the average parent spends only 15 minutes a day interacting with their kids, I say we need more parents like these.

Maybe Toyota is trying to tell people that paretns who drive Siennas are cool. I didn’t catch that. I saw parents who connect with their kids are cool.

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Born into heaven: Resoruces

Posted on12. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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I certainly don’t expect that if you do an event like this, you’ll do everything just the same way we did. However, there’s not point in reinventing the wheel. So here are all the pieces to this event. Again, I didn’t come up with our carry out this event. My wife dreamed up this event while pregnant several weeks back. Right after losing the baby, she gathered together with three other women at our church and the four of them put all of this together. They were willing to share, so I present to you all of their creativity and hard work.

Program – front & back
Program – inside
Resource list
Quotes
Slide

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Born into heaven: Overview

Posted on11. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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Yesterday I published a post describing an event my wife and several others from my church hosted. Born into Heaven is meant to memorialize the lives of our Children who never took their first breath. What a needed ministry this is. In this post I’d like to describe what our even looked like. My hope is that many of you reading this post will copy us. I’ve never heard of an event like this, but as one who was personally touched by what happened this last Saturday, I’d suggest hosting an event like this. Let this description serve as inspiration for your own version that addresses your unique community.

Saturday was a beautiful spring day, so this event was held in the “Garage,” one of our larger gathering places that is connected to our cafe and has large glass garage doors that open up to our church courtyard. Several women purchased and baked cookies as snacks and others arranged to pick up free (donated) pastries and bagels from Panera Bread. So there was a huge assortment of cookies and breads with water, lemonade and coffee. The service began at 10:00 AM and one of our Teaching Pastors took the stage and told his story of loss. He shared how he and his wife lost their first two children to miscarriage. I don’t know how everyone else in the room felt, but as he told his story, I totally connected with the story and with his pain.

After the welcome, one of Gateway’s bands came up and played/sung “Shadow of the Day” by Linkin Park. This wasn’t a second rate ensemble for a last minute Saturday event, but 5-7 musicians who did an incredible job with this song. Next, a woman came up to read a poem called “Time and Space.” The poem was written by a woman who attends Gateway, but wasn’t yet ready to attend this event. The poem was about the grief of her decision to have an abortion earlier in life and the healing that God is doing in her life now. The woman who read the poem briefly shared how she two had experienced an abortion and God had healed her of the emotional scars of that decision.

Next, my wife came to share our story. She began the story by talking about our adventure of climbing Pikes Peak last September and how we found ourselves in the midst of a hail storm and white out near the top of the mountain. Even though we could no longer see our path, cairns (intentional stacks of stones left by previous visitors) marked the way. She shared how cairns mark pathways though the wilderness, they mark mountain summits and they memorialize the dead. She went on to share our journey of miscarriage after miscarriage, both before and after having our beautiful son.

After Sara shared her story, Rick, the Teaching Pastor who opened the service shared a wonderful message about Mary. He describes how she must have felt, standing at the cross, watching her son die. When we read the story, we often see it at 30,000 feet. We see how it was the fulfillment of prophecy and the forgiveness of sins and that just one page later, he comes back to life. Yet how often do we put ourselves in Mary’s pain and sorrow. It was a beautiful message that allowed our pain to connect with the scripture.

Finally, another woman came forward to share her story. Five years ago she lost her little girl at the very end of her pregnancy and experienced a still birth. She shared how God really met her in that moment and began healing her heart shortly after the experience. After sharing her story, she referenced back to Sara’s story about cairns as objects to mark our way and memorize the dead. She instructed that while the band played again, we could take the markers and the smooth stones that made up the centerpieces at our tables and memorialize our children who were born into heaven. We could write their names, due dates or anything else memorable and then place them in the vase in the courtyard. Sara and I took five stones and wrote the names we’ve given to all of our children and placed the first stones in the vase. While the band played, others did the same.

In the end, people stayed around to talk and share their stories. There was a representative from one of Gateway’s grief ministries to connect people into appropriate groups if needed. People trickled out shortly after and went about their days. In all, the service lasted about 90 minutes. We did offer childcare up to 2nd grade. With only two full weeks to plan and promote this event, nearly 50 people participated. Not bad for a first run with very little promotion. Many people heard about the service from family and friends and came from as far as Houston to be involved. The following day, the cairn was placed in the auditorium lobby where others could add their stones to memorialize the short and quite lives of their children.

Tomorrow I’ll share some resources including programs, pictures and anything else I can muster up.

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Born into heaven

Posted on10. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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I need to tell you about an even we held at Gateway this weekend. I claim no responsibility for this event, it was the brain child of my wife. I came to support her, but I did little to support her. This event was for me. Let me tell you a little about it.

Born Into Heaven was a memorial service to recognize and honor the short and quite lives of children lost to miscarriage, still birth and abortion. It was held on Saturday, the day before mother’s day as so many parents, especially moms, are burdened with the thoughts of their lost children. Too many parents lose children to miscarriage and they suffer in silence. Many times, no one knows of their loss. Although they never held their child, it doesn’t make that child any less alive or any less their own flesh and blood. Parents rarely have the time or space to mourn this loss. Other parents are shattered with the loss of a child at birth. Because it is so unexpected and tragic, people don’t know how to comfort these families or help them deal with the loss. Other parents suffer in silence over the guilt of hasty decisions of their youth. A quick abortion solves an immediate problem, yet leaves the stain of regret and guilt. Shouldn’t the church help families grieve and heal? That’s what Born Into Heaven is all about.

My wife thought up this event about 6 weeks ago when she was pregnant with our 6th child. Sara and I both know the pain of loss. During this difficult and tentative week-to-week pregnancy, Sara was burdened to create a place for families to mourn. It wasn’t just born out of a need other parents had, it was born out of something Sara and I needed. Other than a few close friends and immediate family, few people knew of our silent suffering. Few people know that Titus is our fourth child, the only one to make it past 9 weeks from conception. He’s our little miracle, our ray of light in a barren land of death and disappointment. Last year we lost our 5th child and only 4 weeks ago, we lost our 6th. Again, only a few people knew our pain, but a memorial such as Born Into Heaven is what paretns in our shoes need.

Like I said before, I came to support my wife. She shared our story on the stage, but she couldn’t look at me as I was an emotional wreck. So many people were able to come together, share their stories and recognize their loss. Many who go through this kind of loss neglect to consider themselves as moms and dads, but that is what they are. This day was about parents honoring their kids and processing through their pain.

Tomorrow I’ll share some of the details of the service as it may be something you will want to re-create for families in your church.

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#Orange10 Day 3: Parenting beyond your capacity

Posted on03. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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Don’t judge the rest of this post by my next statement. This breakout was a commercial for the new book, “Parenting beyond your capacity.” However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. This book is going to be a powerful new resource for parents and I think a lot of people are going to be really excited about it. So, this was an opportunity to hear from the authors about why they wrote this resource . Here are a few of my take-aways.
Most parents DO NOT have a strategy for leading their kids spiritual. Most parents “assume” the church will do it.
Carey equated this to dishes. To many parents see the church or the task of spiritual formation as using the formal dishes. We rarely use them and when we do, its awkward and a little uncomfortable. They don’t really see real life, just those special occasions. The every day dishes are what we’re comfortable with, what we use day in and day out and they experience the joys and pain of life. Spiritual formation needs to be like the routine of using our everyday dishes. The parenting strategy needs to follow the same kind of rhythm.
The book follows the five family values Reggie Joiner promotes in the Orange strategy also found in his book Think Orange.” They include:
  1. Widen the circle
  2. Imagine the end
  3. Fight for the heart
  4. Create a rhythm
  5. Make it personal
One overwhelmingly powerful message that all parents need to understand is that almost every family from the Bible is dysfunctional. Parents often get an idea in their head of what a biblical family is supposed to look like and then feel defeated because it’s impossible to achieve that image. Kids need to get a front row view of what grace and spiritual transformation looks like in their family. Dysfunction is the reality most families live in. God wants to transform lives as he works in our families.
Interesting stats:
  • 75% of parents have attended a church in the last 24 months.
  • 25% of families have both mom and dad living at home.
One thing Reggie said got me really excited about a potentially future resource. The environment I serve in is highly unchurched where most of our families are either not yet following Christ or very early in the process of spiritual formation. This doesn’t mean these parents can’t begin the task of spiritual formation of their kids, but it may require a totally different approach as well as an entirely different resource. Reggie mentioned the idea of writing a resource for this kind of audience. I think it that were developed, it would be my first choice with this book being the next book in the process (but I haven’t read it yet, so I don’t know).

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#Orange10 Day 2: Doug Fields

Posted on03. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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I’ve never had the privilege of reading anything from Doug Fields or hearing him speak in person, but I know that for students pastors around the world, he’s a legend. I’ve known student pastors who have worked for him and others who simply use his resources; however, I’ve never heard anything but GREAT things from Doug Fields. I got to meet him and talk with him for just a minute or two backstage a few hours before his session, not enough to get a full impression. However, after his talk all I can say is WOW! I think I love this guy. Doug came to speak to pastors of students and kids and he chose to focus on the subject of our families, our spouses and our children. Epic talk!

Here are two main truths.
  • In ministry, there is always more to do. Always. We’ll never finish.
  • If I don’t focus on my family, no one else will.
The sad part of all of this is that you may spend the better part of a decade investing in the lives of students, kids and families at your church, but once you’re gone, you’ll be a blip on the radar. Don’t kid yourself into thinking you’re more than that. They’ll find someone else to do what you did. Your replacement might even be better than you. Get over it. It’s the truth. The painful part is that the place where you’ll make the biggest impact is in your own house. Although you can be replaced in your job, you can never be replaced in your role as a mom or dad. Invest where you can make a bigger impact.
Doug made a few suggestions about about your roles as a parent in ministry.
  • What are you doing to make your house fun? Live it up, have fun!
  • What are you doing to make you working at the church a privilege for your family?
This part was funny. Did Doug’s kids get the best small group leaders? Absolutely! Did Doug’s kids have private sleepovers in the church facilities. Yup! Did his kids swim in the baptismal. Oh yeah! Too often our kids get the shaft as a result of our job. Our families pay the price because they get “left overs” dad or mom. We can change that, make it a treat that they get to be a pastor’s kid.
This was a great message for me to hear. I’ve made some changes this last year to put a higher priority on my family. I need to do more. I need to make the time I’m spending with them more focused and more intentional. One thing in particular that really spoke to me was how Doug said he never took work calls on his phone when his family was in the car. Never. I must admit that when I’m driving around town with Titus, I’m on the phone a lot. Titus isn’t really that talkative. We’re not really carrying on conversations; however, that’s not really creating father/son bonding time. I know I don’t want him veggin’ out watching videos, so I need to follow the same example and not “multi-task” at the expense of my family.

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#Orange10 Day 2: Rev Run

Posted on03. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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Okay, don’t misread me here. When it comes to content, I got the least from Rev Run. I wrote three things down. He had good things to say, just nothing power-packed and life-changing. However, I can’t say that he wasn’t inspiring. What an incredible testimony he’s living to people I may never have influence over. In his talk, he spoke about recent conversations he had with Will Smith or other starts. Rev Run has a powerful platform and from all appearances, he’s living his life right. He and his wife are raising six kids and he’s teaching them to honor God and follow him. What a great and powerful story. I was glad to hear Reggie interview him and this session added to the overall experience. Here were a few things that he said that stuck out.
Absence make the heart and family grow further. It’s not a silly cliche. Spend time with your spouse. Spend time with your kids. Period.
As a parent, you’re going to run into difficult situations. You’re going to encounter issues that you have no knowledge of. That’s okay. If you know the one who knows, then you’re in good company. Spend time with God, you don’t know your kids as well as he knows your kids.

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#Orange10 Day 2: Family First

Posted on03. May, 2010 by Kenny.

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Todd Clark planted a church in California that is truly an Orange church. As the senior pastor of this church, he shares about how to create a ministry where family truly comes first. Here are seven principles:
Orange-ify your Senior Pastor
There are many shades of orange. Helping your pastor see Orange may take time, but just take it step by step. Shades of Orange go from Invite to Interested to Open to Influenced to Involved to Invested.
It is important to pay attention to timing. A great idea at the wrong time is a bad idea. Serve your pastor and his vision first. “Promote your leader’s dreams and they will promote yours.” John Maxwell.
Making sticky decisions (budget and programing)
Create reciprocal stages. For example, allow your artists to play/perform/lead on multiple stages. Just because they sing doesn’t mean they’ll always sing on the main stage. They may bounce around from kids to students to the main stage.
Don’t worry, be crappy
It is better to do something imperfectly than nothing perfectly. Use what you have and do the best you can with that.
Celebrate spiritual milestones
Child dedications and family baptisms. Make a big deal out of these things. Give parents a path to follow, something to work towards.
“For Heaven’s Sake” is a great program offered through reThink for baptisms.
Orange honors staff families
Before we can put our church families first, we have to put our own families first.
Orange often “irritates” parents
It’s likely that your doing something right if your parents are irritated with some of your decisions. It may come from using the word “partnership.” Closing environments 15 minutes after the service begins to honor what happens in the classrooms may frustrate your parents. Asking your parents to choose a service and stick with it may annoy some. Not ever decision you make will be family friendly, but it does put the family first. Your job is not to give parents what they want, it’s your job to give parents what they need.
Family dream session
What if a family gave the same time to planning their family as they do planning their job? Give parents the tools and resources to do this.
There were several great principles that I found helpful to what I’m doing at my church. The biggest for me though was the principle of baptism. Currently, we celebrate child dedication as a milestone in a personal and equipping way for parents. Unfortunately, my church celebrates baptism in a way that isn’t always family friendly or allows the child to truly connect why they’re getting baptized. As a result of this breakout, we’re going to begin transitioning the way we celebrate baptism similar to the way we practice child dedication. I’m very excited about this change.

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Collaborate book give-away

Posted on30. Apr, 2010 by Kenny.

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So, I’ve got a free copy of this book to give away. Do you have a copy of the hottest book written by 35 different people? Do you want one? Come find me, introduce yourself and it’s yours. It’s that easy!

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Collaborate is a book about the Church connecting with families to make a big impact. It’s written by some of the biggest leaders in kids, students and family ministry.

I’ll be honest, I’ve only read about a 1/4 so far, but it’s been fantastic so far.

Be sure to get a copy. If you’re fast enough, you may not even have to pay for it. Ready…. Set…. Go!

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