Tag Archives: Baptism
Small Group Leader Success
Posted on03. Apr, 2009 by Kenny.
How do you know when one of your small group leaders is doing a good job?
The evidence is usually pretty clear. The group grows. You see kids swarm around the leader when not in the kid’s building. Yeah, it’s pretty obvious. However, I saw a level of success this week that made my heart swell with pride.
On Sunday night I held a baptism class. We had about 15 kids participate with their families. At the end of the class parents fill out the required paperwork. One of the parents waved me over to their table. They asked me if it was okay if their daughter’s small group leader baptized her. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Of course it’s alright! I LOVE IT!
This small group leader in particular made a lasting spiritual impact. When giving the opportunity to choose who would baptize her, she chose her small gorup leader. That’s small group leader success.
What I’m excited about is watching this baptism happen. Hopefully the other girls from the group will get to watch/participate with what’s happening. I bet that at our next baptism, 4-5 more girls from this gorup will get baptized as well. Woo Hoo!
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Autism and Baptism
Posted on17. Jul, 2008 by Kenny.
Just curious as to what you think. I held a baptism class this last weekend and I got this comment on one of my baptism response forms:
“My child is autistic and I’m not sure how much he really understands. How do you usually address this?
So, what do you do with a child with special needs who’s family has expressed a desire to have him or her baptized (specifically when you are unable to really determine their level of understanding)? I have some thought in my head, but I just thought I’d see what others had to say. Oh, and I haven’t actually talked to the family or child, so I don’t know where this child in particular is.
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Parent involved baptism
Posted on19. May, 2008 by Kenny.
Several weeks ago I wrote this post about involving parents in significant moments in their child’s life.
Yesterday I had a really cool moment. I don’t know that it would have happened if I hadn’t been thinking so much about what family ministry really means.
Like I posted yesterday, we baptized a lot of people yesterday. After one of the services, a family was directed to me. They had a little girl who wanted to be baptized. She was six. I got down on one knee and talked with her about baptism. She had already make Jesus her Lord and Savior and her parents had already been talking to her about baptism.
I looked up at the dad. He was holding his younger daughter in his arms. I asked him, “Do you want to baptize her?” He thought I was talking about his little on in his arms. He replied, “No, I think she’s too young.” I shook my head and repeated the question. “Do you” (I pointed at him) “want to baptize her” (I pointed at his six year old)? He looked at me with wide eyes and asked, “Can I?”
WOW! I almost have a tear in my eye just recalling the moment.
So, I escorted him and his daughter into the pool. We stood over near the edge so his wife could be right there next to it all. I helped him and watched him baptize his little girl. I’m sure it will go down as one of the memories he’ll never, never, never forget.
Is that what family ministry looks like?
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Baptismpalooza
Posted on18. May, 2008 by Kenny.
Today we had some baptisms at Gateway. I think it was the most fun I’ve ever had at a baptism service… and I really love baptizing kids!
Gateway Church doesn’t have a built in baptismal. In Texas, a lot of churches actually build them outside. They’ll build a fountain or other water feature that can be used as a baptismal throughout the year. For some reason, we don’t have one, so once the weather warms up, we bring out a big pool and baptize as many people as we can. Today it was just over 100! Woo Hoo!
This week I met with several families. It’s so important to me to meet with kids before they get baptized. I feel it’s:
- A great opportunity to connect with a family.
- A great opportunity to clearly communicate salvation and baptism to a family
Well, there were about 60-70 people pre-registered to get baptized. The service was set to end about 15 minutes early and after it dismissed, people came out to the pool to get it done. We had enough people in the pool that entire families could be baptized all at once. It was like a synchronized swimming deal. Awesome!
There are two things I really liked about the way Gateway does baptisms:
It had a family and community feel
Rather than have it be a formal moment in a worship service, it was a rowdy, uncut and group event. People were gathering around friends and family members to share in the “experience.” Husbands and wives, families and friends were getting baptized together. For many people it was a shared and relational experience. I love it.
It was “New Testament” -just do it now- style
There were many people who had pre-registered to be baptized. But there were a lot who were jumping in. John Burke, our Senior Pastor, shared an evangelistic message today and people were encouraged to respond and if so, go get baptized. We provided towels, so people were climbing in with all their clothes. I heard about a guy who got baptized at this last year who jumped in with his nice clothes, wallet, watch and shoes. Someone told him that he could take some of those things off. He replied, “Most of the decisions I make every day are motivated by money… today I’m following my heart.”
So, it was baptism Gateway style. We’ve got another baptism scheduled in July. I can’t wait!
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Does it bother you that the same kid gets saved every week?
Posted on20. Apr, 2008 by Kenny.
Ha! If you’ve ministered to kids for any time, you probably got a kick out of this title!
Last week I was listening to an audio blog post on Steven Furtick’s blog. The blog was about how to give effective invitations. It was a great message, regardless of your position. He shared his advice and experience in the wake of Easter where his church saw over 500 people come to Christ. Absolutely amazing! There were so many great points worth hearing.
One thing did stick out to me in particular. Pastor Steven talked about how it had been his tendency to make it difficult for a person to come to Christ in order to ensure that they authentically made the decision. Then one day he read the parable of the wheat and the tares (or weeds) in Matthew 13 and was convicted. He came to realize that it wasn’t his responsibility to determine the authenticity of their faith and remove the weeds, it was his responsibility to sow the seed. In the end, the wheat would be separated from the weed. He went on to say that he (Steven) will refuse to cast wheat tot he side because he thought it was a weed. “I’m not God… it’s not my job.”
I thought about this in the context of the children’s ministry. We’ve all had that one kid that got saved every single time there was an opportunity. There were some kids that I met with personally and baptized that would occasionally raise their hands. Sometimes I’d pull them aside and question them, explaining that you only had to do this once. Ha, I even had one 7 year old girl (it would be an understatement for me to call her a firecracker) who had gotten saved 400 times in one year. I had been working with her parents already on some behavior issues, manipulation and lying. Once I explained to her that she didn’t need to keep doing this. She looked at me with her “sad” eyes and said, “I didn’t mean it those other times.”
A few Easters ago we had a great response to an invitation in our kid’s church. The next week I shared this news in staff meeting. One person on staff responded, “Yeah, but how many of them really meant it. Some of those were probably repeats from Venture Quest (VBS).” Yeah, that didn’t go over so well for me. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, but that did bother me.
Yes, it does bother me that the same kid gets saved every week. Not that I care that they’re doing it again, but because I really want them to get it. I asked Jesus to be my Lord when I was 4. I think I did it 10 times that week. Why? I just wanted to be sure. I understand for some kids (if not most) it is a process. It’s not “too big” of a decision for them to understand; however, as they mature, they’ll also grow in their understanding.
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Out of our control
Posted on18. Apr, 2008 by Kenny.
The idea I blogged about yesterday is what I’ve been processing the most. I really like this idea a lot. But I naturally have some questions. Perhaps you did too.
1. It’s obvious that only a percentage of the parents will come back with their kids for the class. That isn’t fair to those kids. Wouldn’t it be better to give everyone an opportunity to decide now so that kids who really want this don’t fall through the cracks due to their parent’s unwillingness to participate.
2. Do I really want to trust this opportunity to parents who have absolutely no experience at all? What if they mess it up? What if the kids have questions that the parents can’t answer? What if they make something up?
Maybe you didn’t think these things, but I sure did. In some ways I feel that this is the litmus test on how committed we are to family ministry. Do we really want our parents to grow in their spiritual leadership or are we going to keep trying to do their job and then complain that our parents aren’t doing more? Hmmm, good questions Kenny!
Here’s what I think. God’s bigger than me. He’s in control of more things than I control. If I decide that I want to honor the GOD ORDAINED institution of the family and empower parents to lead their children into a relationship with him, then I need to not worry as much about “taking advantage of an opportunity.” If a child truly wants to receive Christ, there is nothing I or their parent can do about it. I have to remember that it isn’t I who saves… it is the Holy Spirit who calls them and saves them. Maybe I should let go and let God do what he wants to do. As much as I want to see that child come to Christ, I’m pretty sure God wants it more than I do.
And as far as being afraid that a parent is going to mess it up kind of follows the same line. How many times has God used me even though I was a screw-up? How many times did God use unlikely (or even shady characters) to display his magnificent character? Yeah, I think God is big enough that I can let go of this one too. It’s not like I have to abandon these parents. I can provide all the resources they need and be available for help. But I think there is something absolutely beautiful about a father, who doesn’t yet have it all together, humbled at the opportunity to lead his family to Christ. I think that’s in the Bible somewhere folks!
***but wait***
That doesn’t mean we can’t provide tools to make it easy for a child to come to Christ. We can provide resources, things on our web site and the tools for a child who’s really on their own who really want’s to meet Christ take that step on their own or with a leader if necessary.
***one more thing***
Like I said, I’m still processing this. I had a heated debate about this with my wife. She challenged me that this idea makes it too hard for kids to come to Christ. I certainly don’t want that. I want it to be easy for a child who is seeking to find Christ. So, I’ve still got some thinking to do.
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How about equipping our parents?
Posted on17. Apr, 2008 by Kenny.
A few weeks ago I wrote about “The Essence of Orange” DVD from the reThink group. In this DVD, Reggie Joiner mentioned this very things I’ve been writing about. Since it was Orange, it was in the family ministry context. However, it made more sense to me than anything else I have ever done or heard.
*** Preface **** Now I could have heard this wrong or I could be off, but I think this is the gist of what he was saying.
All of us agree that we want parents to be more involved in the spiritual development of our kids. If asked though, most of us would probably admit that we were doing little to equip parents to spiritually lead their kids. There are many, many good reasons to invite kids to Christ in a kids church or event. However, why can’t we create more opportunities for parents to be involved in actually leading their child to Christ?
Reggie explained that in many of their services they wouldn’t necessarily call kids to make decisions but more call kids toward wanting to make a decision. Once they got to that point, the invited kids and their parents to a class. In this class, both the parents and the kids learned what it meant to make this decision and were giving the tools to do it. Then, the class dismissed and sent everyone home. Parents could then use the resources, materials and training to actually lead their kids to Christ (possibly even themselves in the process). Sure, it’s probably a little messier and perhaps you have fewer kids go though this process than letting them make decisions without their parents, but it does show a commitment toward equipping the parents. If a mom or dad can do what it takes to lead their child to Christ, perhaps with the right materials they can begin leading their family in Bible study?
I’ve been thinking a lot about what this might look like in my ministry. Still processing it, but I like the way it looks.
Sorry, I lied. I have one more thing to say on this matter.
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Parent involvement?
Posted on16. Apr, 2008 by Kenny.
Amazing. I remember being the 20 year-old, part-time Children’s Pastor at a small church in Jenks, Oklahoma. A parent approached me with his 4th grade daughter (this did happen on more than one occasion) and said, “Mr. Kenny, my daughter want’s to receive Christ. Will you pray with her?”
I look at this situation differently now than I did 11 years ago. I said “Absolutely… let’s pray!” Now when I look back at this situation I see a different picture. It’s a little strange (but far too common). A grown man, a father, was handing off his child for me to share in the most important decision of her life. I understand. He probably saw this as my “job.” He also probably felt unqualified. However, how hard would it have been for me to coach him in leading his daughter to Christ. She was ready. Has this ever happened to you?
How about this one? On occasion I would get a phone call from a confused (sometimes angry) parent. The child came home from church or from VBS and told his/her parents that he/she had committed his/her life to Christ. The calling parent would sometimes just question if we really believed a child could make this kind of decision. They’d sometimes question our approach, asking kids to make a decision before they really understood what they were doing. I had one parent angrily accuse me of luring kids to raising hands, praying a prayer so I could go back to my staff and tell them how many I had converted.
Yikes!
I have always felt a heavy responsibility for inviting kids to follow Christ. Certainly I was to take advantage of my opportunities, but I also made every effort to contact families of kids who made decisions. And this is the struggle I had. We would see hundreds of kids come to Christ at VBS. Over the following months we would baptized dozens. However, I’d always have one or two of these phone calls/conversations. I rationalized that it was okay to alienate one or two people as long as we would see kids come to Christ by the dozens. But I still didn’t always feel great about this, it just didn’t seem right. In situations where kids are given an opportunity to receive Christ, how do you involved the parents? How do you respect them as the spiritual authority, regardless of whether they take it seriously.
Here’s how we “fixed” this:
We’d give an invitation whether it was VBS or regular weekend service. We’d either send home a packet with them that day or mail on to them the next day. Ultimately the packet explained that the child had made a decision, we were excited and we’d love to help follow-up. We’d give them options to attend a baptism class or meet with someone on staff. However, we were putting the “ball” in their court. A portion of these parents did call us, come to baptism classes or meet with the staff. Many did not, but we decided that we needed to respect the parents in this process. We would usually send a follow-up letter to those who didn’t respond to our previous letter a few weeks later, but after that we would let it go. The result? I stopped getting those phone calls. Kids were coming to Christ and I felt like we were respecting the parental authority boundary.
Wrapping this up tomorrow.
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Handling decisions with kids
Posted on15. Apr, 2008 by Kenny.
Yesterday I talked just a little bit about baptizing kids. Today I want to talk about inviting kids to come to Christ.
My philosophy on this has changed over the years, and even more over recent weeks… maybe. I still have some things to work out.
Earlier in my ministry I served in more traditional churches. They were churches that offered invitations every Sunday (at least almost every Sunday). As a children’s pastor I would do the same. Actually I’d typically offer some kind of invitation every 2-3 weeks. It’s just what we did.
However, as I began serving in churches that didn’t do traditional “alter calls,” I had to evaluate how I approached this with the kids. These churches that didn’t do “alter calls” understood there were many visitors that were still working out their faith. They were giving opportunities to fill out a card where someone could follow up face-to-face. I’m okay with that. Just because they did alter calls at the church I grew up at doesn’t mean they have to do it here. As long as people are coming to Christ, I’m on board.
I had to meet with my supervisor and ask what he expected. I understood that the ministry to kids needs to reflect ministry to adults… but we’re not going to have kids fill out decision cards… that’s just silly. We decided that we would give invitations on a regular basis. When a child made a decision, we’d celebrate that but then send information home with that child that day. We wanted parents to know of the decision right away so they could be involved in the next steps. After this, the child and the parents would either meet with a staff member or in a baptism class where they’d review this decision and explain what it meant as well was what baptism was all about.
This seemed to work pretty well, but it has it flaws. I’m not quite sure I’d do it exactly like this again… like I said, I’m still working this out.
More to come.
Technorati Tags: Childrens Ministry
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Children’s baptism
Posted on14. Apr, 2008 by Kenny.
I won’t deny it. I love praying with a child to receive Christ. It’s one of the things I love most about my job. Yeah, I also love to baptize kids. When I baptize them, I know I’ve had a chance to walk through this decision with the child and his or her parents. But what do I think is even cooler? When I get to stand by a parent as they baptize their own child. Over the years I’ve baptized hundreds of kids. Certainly it has been very special to me. Several of my facebook friends are kids I baptized years ago. Sometimes I’ve seen endorsements for a speaker/evangelist coming to speak somewhere that state the number of kids he’s baptized. “Brother Mark has baptized 4,000 kids.”
What does that tell me? No, I don’t initially think it’s bragging. It tells me that Brother Mark has likely had a powerful and effective ministry. Praise God! But how do I want to be known (not that I really need to want to be know)? How many kids has Kenny Conley baptized? Maybe by the number of times I’ve enabled parents to baptize their own kid. Now that’s cool. I’ve got some more thoughts on this I’d like to share with you.
Technorati Tags: baptism,parents,Childrens Ministry
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