Childrens Ministry Online

Book Review: Lead the Way God Made You

Posted on05. Jul, 2010 by Kenny.

I never had any intention of reading this book. Never is such a strong word. Actually, the cover and title of this book is very intriguing. It draws you in. You want to know more. That was the case when I first saw this book in the bookstore almost five years ago. I opened it up and started skimming the chapters. Drama Coach? Director? Production Assistant? Ummmm, that’s okay, I don’t do productions as a part of my weekend experience. I have a lot of books on my list to read and this one wouldn’t be the best use of my time.

That was my first experience with this book.

One time I even discouraged someone from reading this book. I told him that it wasn’t really a book about leadership, but about leading children’s ministry productions. Sorry Larry.

I’ll say it.

I was wrong.

A few months ago Larry Shallenberger asked for people to review this book for his blog tour. I’m not even sure why I agreed because I had already made up my mind that this book wasn’t for me. I think it was the promise of a free book. Well, I’m glad I got to review it because it may end up being one of the most important books I read this year.

This IS a leadership book that happens to tell a story as a narrative that illustrates the lessons being taught. The story happens to be about a Children’s Musical Production. While skimming, I missed the point and made incorrect assumptions.

More importantly, this book spoke to some of they areas where I’ve felt “stuck” as a leader. It spoke to my frustrations as well as some of the frustrations my team has been feeling. There are many different styles to leadership and no one possesses them all. Perhaps part of the reason I feel stuck is becasue I’m not allowing my team to lead the way God made them which in turn isn’t allowing me to lead the way God made me.

I’m not going to get into the details of the book here. All I can say is that as I read this book I often found myself nodding in agreement, “Yes! This makes perfect sense!” I also found myself getting really hopeful about the way things could be if people on a team actually led this way. Plenty of light bulb moments. I’ve already been talking to my staff about the concepts and we’ll be reading the book as a team this month. We’ll experiment with some of these concepts this summer and fall and if we see certain results, me may look into some organizational restructuring. It’s very exciting!

So, order this book right now! You may have a packed out reading list, but do yourself a favor, pop this book at the top of your list.

Oh, I also have an extra copy of this book to give away. I’ll make this really simple. This post went live on Monday morning, July 5th. The last comment on this post today (Monday) gets a copy of the book. So, leave a comment!

Also, spread the word, I’ve got another copy to give away. The last person to tweet a link to this post with the #kidmin tag today (Monday) will get a book. This should be fun, so tweet away.

Continue Reading

What should I read next?

Posted on01. Jul, 2010 by Kenny.

So, back in January I posted my reading list for 2010. I had 18 books on the list. For some of you, that’s a leisurely weekend of reading. For me, that’s an undertaking! So, we’re a little halfway through the year and here is where I stand.

So far I’ve read 5 books total, essentially 1/3 toward my goal of 18. I’m really not sure I’ll hit 18, but I still think I can kick it in high gear and get pretty close. Unfortunately, of the books on my 2010 list, I’ve only read 2, Orange and Mad Church Disease. I’m starting Parenting Beyond Your Capacity this weekend (another book not on my list), but I hope to hit my list again next.

I know a lot of you have read the books on my list. Based on what you’ve read, what book should I read next? Below is a little poll. Whatever book gets the most votes, I’ll read it next. I was going to suggest comments on what book needs to be on my list, but I think I just need to focus on the 16 I haven’t read next. Maybe next year I’ll crowdsource my reading list.

Okay, vote below (you can vote for more than one book… just to make it interesting). I’m anxious to know what I’m going to read next.

Continue Reading

A “not-so-new” (but great) leadership resource

Posted on30. Jun, 2010 by Kenny.

Leadership is an interesting thing, isn’t it. Some of us are born with a natural “know-how.” Others of us have to work really hard at it. All of us get stuck at certain places. As people who oversee ministries, we need it, need to know how to grow it and how to cultivate it. All of us know what our limitations are as a leader. I know mine. At times I’m embarrassed by mine. It’s good to know that this isn’t the end of the story, there’s plenty of time to develop and plenty of time to grow.

So, there’s a book out there that I want to point you towards. It’s called “Lead the Way God Made You.” I’ll be honest, it really spoke to where I am right now as a leader in many different ways. I’m doing an official review for this book on Monday, July 5th which I’m writing right now. It’s a holiday weekend and I’ve got a feeling that a lot of my regular readers will be soaking in some rays as opposed to reading my blog. On Tuesday, be sure to log in and read the review. I’m kinda excited about what this book might mean for me as a leader. Maybe if it helps me, it will help you.

Larry Shallenberger published this book five years ago and to celebrate the anniversary, he’s organized a blog tour. So far you can read Larry’s summaries here as well as the first few stops of the blog tour here, here and here.

If you haven’t read the book yet, go ahead and pick up a copy or two right here, I highly recommend it!

Continue Reading

The Kidmin Revolution

Posted on13. May, 2010 by Kenny.

On Monday I started this series on starting or changing your career in Children’s Ministry; however, the conversation hasn’t gone in the direction I intended. That’s a good thing though, I feel like a good foundation was put in place here and some important things have been processed… for me at least. Next week I’ll get into the highly practical stuff of resumes and searching for an open ministry position. The following week I hope to talk about the interview process. I really do hope that this little series will be a great resource for those preparing to enter the ministry or make a jump to a different stage of ministry.

This post; however, I want to wrap up a theme that’s emerged this week. I’ve been in Kidmin long enough to see that a real change has taken place. When I started 1997, there were not a lot of resources. Sunday School was king and no one was talking about small groups. Kids music consisted of Arky Arky and Father Abraham, the same songs I sang as a kid 10-12 years earlier (wow, I was a young CP). A decade later, we have a flood of resources and there’s never been a better time to be a children’s pastor. However, I still see two flavors of Kidmin. One tends to still be hanging on to some of the older ways of doing things. They may not be doing Arky Arky anymore, but there are systems and processes that haven’t changed in ten years. Then there is another side that is reinventing what Kidmin looks like. It’s not just the style of music or technology used or way of presenting the message (although that is part of it), but it is the philosophy underneath. It is leadership driven. It’s using creative and innovative ways of leveraging influence in the lives of the kids through schools, teachers and parents to make a lasting impact.

This second flavor of Kidmin is still the minority. Although some of the biggest and loudest ministries in the world are home to these types of ministries, the average church in the average town hasn’t made this transition yet. That’s where this revolution needs to begin. That’s where the change needs to happen. So if you’re a current Children’s Pastor, it would do you well to evaluate where your ministry stands. Does it need a revolution? Is your ministry creatively using innovative strategies to make an impact, or does it use what it’s always been using? Are you getting ready to go into Children’s Ministry? Decide now what kind of Children’s Pastor you want to be. Don’t let the church you go to or the church you think you want to work at dictate what kind of Children’s Pastor you’re going to be. You always have a choice.

Continue Reading

The perfect Children’s Pastor?

Posted on12. May, 2010 by Kenny.

Okay, don’t give me grief on the title, I know there isn’t a perfect Children’s Pastor and the perfect Children’s Pastor for one church could be a horrible Children’s Pastor for another. It’s not that cut and dry… but go with me here for a minute.

Children’s Pastors come in all sorts of shapes and sizes to fit churches of all shapes and sizes, but what do you think are the characteristics of the “perfect” Chidlren’s Pastor. And when I say the “perfect” Children’s Pastor, I’m referring to the kind of Children’s Pastor who is the solution to some of the problems discussed in my post from yesterday (and comments). You may or may not agree with me, but Kidmin has bad PR in the church today which I believe is part of the reason there is such a shortage of great Children’s Pastors. We need more Chidlren’s Pastors who will change the landscape of Children’s Ministry for the average church. What does that Children’s Pastor look like? What are they good at? What is his/her skill set? What are the essentials?

I’ll start with a few.

The “perfect” Children’s Pastor is a strong leader. He/She spends as much time (or more) investing, ministering, praying for and building into other adult leaders as he or she does kids. The “perfect” Children’s Pastor understands that he/she must multiply or he/she will fail.

The “perfect” Chidlren’s Pastor is well-rounded, well-versed in multiple disciplines. He or she is educated. He/she doesn’t have to have a specialized degree (although that doesn’t hurt), but he/she should be able to hang intellectually with the parent, volunteer or fellow staff member who is highly educated. Newsletters, blog posts and emails from this Children’s Pastors aren’t riddled with grammatical errors and typos. He or she is a strong problem solver and can push through the most difficult problems. This “perfect” Children’s Pastor has a strong understanding of the Bible and theology. He doesn’t necessarily have a Seminary or Bible School degree, but it’s obvious he or she has read and knows the “good book.” He or she also has his/her finger on the pulse of what’s happening socially. He or she is current with language, dress and and what’s currently popular. He or she is a student of culture and doesn’t come across as someone who is trying to fit in, but actually does fit in and understands those in the culture.

The “perfect” Children’s Pastor is innovative and a risk taker. He or she doesn’t do what he or she has always done. He or she constantly evaluates past events and programs and makes revisions based on success, changes to the culture and a wide variety of other factors. He or she doesn’t change just for the sake of change, but is willing to do anything to see ministry success. The “perfect” Children’s Pastor has a little bit of a rebellious streak in him or her. He or she is not satisfied with the status quo and will not stop until what is no longer relevant is overthrown.

The “perfect” Children’s Pastor is a communicator. He or she is as comfortable talking to a room full of adults as he or she is speaking to a room full of kids. He or she desires “face time” on the main stage not just to recruit but because it’s important to make that connection with the adults. He or she returns emails and phone calls and doesn’t hide behind email or text messages to have difficult conversations with parents, volunteers or staff.

Okay, that’s just a few. I’d love to see what you think are key characteristics of the “perfect” Children’s Pastor.

Continue Reading

Pastoral leadership

Posted on16. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

Bear with me as I’m processing through these thoughts. I’ve recently been frustrated with someone’s style of leadership. Maybe it’s just their personality, but because this person is a leader, it affects this person’s leadership. It took me a while to figure out what to name this post but I’m settling for “pastoral leadership” as I feel that this is the way I want to lead (although I’m far from doing it well).

Leaders come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. You can be soft spoken and fairly reclusive and be a fantastic leader. You can also be egotistical and larger than life and be a great leader. We see this variety of leaders in business, in society and even in the church. Someone can be a great leader but still be a jerk. Someone can be a great leader and be totally disconnected emotionally with the people around that leader.

I learned a really great principle from Jim Wideman this last year. It was tied into a personality assessment he uses. He taught how a really good leader recognizes the personality type of the person he or she is leading and leads from that context. A good leader doesn’t necessarily just do their leadership thing and expect everyone to flock to him or her but he this kind of leader reaches out. That concept was really insightful. To me, that seems like a really good leader. I’m a “feeler” though, so I maybe its just my perspective. Actually, I’m not going to hide behind the fact that I’m a “feeler.” There are lots of “feelers” who want or need to be led. If you really want to lead us, you need to lean in and show you give a care. Dare I say you need to “emotionally connect.”

I’m not sure exactly what I’m trying to say here. I’m all for visionary leadership and leadership the kicks my butt into gear. However, if you’re insensitive or a jerk, I don’t really want to follow you. In truth, I don’t even want to hang around with you. It seems to me that the role of a pastor is to care and connect with people. It’s a sacrificial role where we put others before ourselves. To me, pastoral leaders happens when you lead from the context of caring and connecting. It’s just something that I’ve been processing. I’m bothered when someone in leadership totally misses this and it causes me to reflect on the way I lead. How do others perceive my leadership? Am I pastoral with my leadership?

Continue Reading

Making Vision Stick: Book Review

Posted on09. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

Last year just before the Orange Conference I spent some time at North Point hanging out at both the Alpharetta campus as well as at Buckhead. I spent a small fortune at the bookstore. While there, I picked up this little book, “Making Vision Stick” by Andy Stanley. It’s small, thin and something that can be wholly digested in one sitting. All I can say is this. Thank you Andy Stanley for writing this little book. Let me share with you a few reasons why I like this little 74 page book.

• I’m not the fastest of readers. My life is busy, so I’ll sit down for an hour, read part of a book and then several days later I’ll sit down and read for another hour and over the period of days or weeks, I’ll finish up a book. Each time I sit down though, I have to catch up on what I last read. Not so with this book. Because you can read it from start to finish in one sitting, the impact is more powerful and succinct.
• This book is so direct and to the point. I know, I’m being a hypocrite. I’m one of the wordiest guys I know. However, I wonder if most books could be condensed down to just 100 pages or so. This one is and I love it. Not much fluff, just straight and to the point.
• It’s short enough that I’ll take the time to read it again and again and again. I put this book on my must read list for 2010. After finishing the book though, I’ve officially put it on my “read it every year” list. I’m actually planning to read it 5-6 times this year alone. I need to lead this way more than anything else this year.

Is that enough of a review to make you want to buy the book already? I haven’t even told you what it’s about yet. No worries, you can read the book in a little more time than it will take for you to read this review, so click here and order your copy.

Oh, you’re still reading? What I liked most about this book was how practical it is as well as the simple examples Andy has included how he’s lived these principles out at North Point. The fact that North Point as eleventy-million people doesn’t negate the fact that I can use these principles in my church of 4,500, my volunteer team of 300 or my small staff of 6. It’s so applicable.

Other than this book, the best teaching I’ve heard on vision and purpose is Craig Jutila. Craig offers very practical teaching on shaping a vision and mission statement and has been highly influential in my life and ministry. Craig’s appraoch is heavily “purpose driven” which is the context from which Craig operated for so many years. I was really only at a purpose driven church for 2 years, so outside of that, I’ve had to adapt what I learned from him to a non “purpose driven” approach. In this book, Andy doesn’t get into the weeds of mission, values and goals, but focuses solely on that vision you have and how to make it stick for everyone in the organization.

After clearly defining vision, Andy shares five things about how to make it stick:

• State the vision simply
• Cast the vision convincingly
• Repeat the vision regularly
• Celebrate the vision systematically
• Embrace the vision personally

The books outlines how Andy has and continues to cast the North Point vision doing these very things over and over and over and over again.

No more details. Get the book and read it a couple of times. I’m convinced it will help you regardless of where you are.

Continue Reading

Learning from Jim Wideman

Posted on05. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

This is my last post about Brother Jim for a little while. Over the past several days I’ve shared all the amazing thing’s I’ve learned from him, especially this year. I made a few adjustments to my schedule and my budget in order to spend another year in mentoring with him because I don’t think I’m done yet.

So, I’m gong to throw out a suggestion here. This is my blog and I’m certainly entitled to expressing my opinion here, right? Well, here goes.

Not taking advantage of what Bother Jim has to offer could be the greatest mistake you’ll make as a Children’s Pastor. Brother Jim has been serving in the trenches longer than many children’s pastors have been alive. More than anyone else, he knows Children’s Ministry. He knows where it’s been and has a really great understanding of where it’s going. Unlike MANY Children’s Pastors serving as long as he has, he’s stays on the cutting edge of what’s current both socially and ministry wise. Although he’s a good ‘ol boy from Alabama, he can hold his own relationally with anyone from the senior adult to the elementary age kid too the post-modern college student. It’s really quite amazing.

But what you need from Brother Jim more than anything is his wisdom that only comes from years and years of experience. Children’s Pastors are notorious for re-inventing the wheel. I think there are very few people who work as hard and tirelessly as Chidlren’s Pastors, but some of that may be unnecessary. Take advantage of what Jim has to offer. It could be the best thing you do for your ministry.

• Like I said in a previous post, read his books. The other day I linked to a few of his newest books. Below I have links to two of his best selling (and most helpful) books. Get them and read them.
• Join theClub. It’s really not that expensive and you’ll have him speaking into your life every month on the things that are most important.
• Plan a trip to go visit him. He’s offering multiple one-day visits where he’ll teach you about recruiting, time management and structuring for growth. Maybe you can’t afford Infuse, this would be the next best thing.
• Make plans for Infuse. Jim’s not going to launch another Infuse until the fall and from this point on they’re probably just going to be 6 month experiences. However, there’s not better way to get to know him than through Infuse. You’ll have access to him life few others do. He’ll get to know you and challenge you in areas specific to your life and ministry.

Jim doesn’t push a philosophy or agenda. He’s just teaching strong leadership in ministry. Don’t miss out, lean into what Brother Jim has to offer. You’ll be glad you did.

Continue Reading

Who says it’s lonely at the top?

Posted on03. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

Okay, this statement is partially true, but the way most people use it, I don’t buy it.

Yes, when it comes to leadership, the higher you go, the less people you have to surround you with support and encouragement. At times you have to make tough calls that no one understands. This is the part where loneliness comes in. However, that’s only fully true if you’ve been doing ministry alone.

Last Saturday I spoke to volunteers in our Children’s Ministry about never doing ministry alone. I’m not sure I effectively communicated what my heart truly feels, but I shared how vital it is that we shouldn’t just do our ministry job, whether as a staff member or weekly volunteer, but we should seek out others to share in the joys and frustrations of ministry. My words of encouragement were:

• Lean into the community of those you already serve with. Most of our volunteers already serve in a consistent team each week, but developing relationships with those you serve with isn’t always natural. I shared that ministry is rewarding, but when you share your ministry experience with others you’re connected with, the reward is exponentially greater.
• Expand the community of those you serve with. Life is busy. Just becasue you’re one a 9:30 Early Childhood ministry team doesn’t mean relationally you going to connect with everyone on your team. Since you’re already serving, ask a friend or another family member to serve with you. That way you can have a shared ministry experience with someone you’re already in community with.

I’ve found both of these concepts to be so incredibly true. Some of the best relationship I’ve had in my life have been with those I serve with, both as volunteers and as staff. In the last several years, I’ve made intentional efforts to develop strong relationships with those outside my church. It’s true that higher up in leadership, there are less people in your organization to really connect with relationally. It is possible to feel a certain amount of loneliness within your organization, which is why it’s so important to develop key relationships outside of your organizations. Connect with others doing the same job as you. That way when things are tough and few people understand what you’re going through, you’ve got someone to talk to that understands, can encourage you and pray with you. When you need ideas or a fresh perspective, call on these other relationships. As I transitioned into a new job almost two years ago, I was able to lean heavily on good friends who remained consistent in my life although everything else for me changed.

It doesn’t have to be so lonely at the top, it’s just up to you to make it that way.

Continue Reading

How I came to know Jim Wideman

Posted on02. Mar, 2010 by Kenny.

So two weeks ago I ventured out on a Kidmin Road Trip, but the main reason I organized the little adventure was because I had an Infuse retreat with Jim Wideman. It was a great retreat, but I’ll get to that later. I’d like to tell you how I came to know Jim Wideman. I’m writing this not to brag or boast who I know, but perhaps encourage you with my story. Why? Because it may serve you well to get to know Jim Wideman as well and the only thing holding you back is you.

So you have to know something about me. Although I’m a very self-confident person and an off the charts extrovert, I tend to be a little shy and soft-spoken in situations where I’m not in my element. When I’m comfortable in a place or with people I know, I’ll do or say anything. So, some of you might be able to relate to my level of timidness, even though you probably wouldn’t have noticed this at all from reading this blog or meeting me in person.

So I first learned of Jim about 12 years ago when I lived in Tulsa. I was very familiar with Church on the Move, but I knew more about Willie George than I did Brother Jim. After visiting COTM several times and getting the grand tour, I came to at least know who Jim was. Just a few months before I moved away from Tulsa, I attended a wedding for my parents. It was their pastor’s son and I was representing them by attending. The groom was a key leader in Kids on the Move and Brother Jim was sitting int he row in front of me. I remember telling my wife, “Hey, I think that’s the Children’s Pastor at Church on the Move.” My wife said that I should introduce myself. I didn’t. Mainly because of that timid thing I sometimes deal with.

So, fast forward many years to just 3 years ago. I’ve read several of Brother Jim’s books, listened to seminar breakouts on tape and had a very healthy respect for what Jim had to say. No one was communicating “leadership” in children’s ministry the way Jim was. I had just started blogging and all of a sudden, out of nowhere I get a comment on one of my blog posts from Jim Wideman. What an honor. Jim was reading what I had to say? No way. Then a few weeks later I blogged about the birth of my son Titus and what a proud day that was for me. Again, Jim left a kind comment relating him becoming a father for the first time. Who was this important man who was keeping an eye on me? It was a few months after that when I lost my job and moved back to South Georgia to help my paretns with their business while I searched for my next job. When Jim came to DFW and I didn’t show up for a seminar he was teaching, he messaged me on facebook and asked where I was and why I didn’t come. Again, honored that he’d take the time to seek me out like that. I told him what happened with my job and he messaged me back with his phone number and told me to give him a call.

I won’t get into my timidness about giving calling this chidlrens ministry giant, but I did call him and he was so gracious and kind. I was able to spew out all the things I had been thinking about, my thoughts about my future in ministry and he had very sound advice that resonated with my soul. It was in that moment where I was at a crossroads of where I could go next, Jim pointed me in the right direction. I’ll never forget that phone call. Since then (three years ago), I’ve had many phone conversations, email conversations and shared meals with this great man and I’m better for it. Let me tell you why I’ve been so fortunate. Because Jim has been called by God to speak into the lives of the next Generation of Chidlren’s Pastors. I’m so fortunate simply becasue Jim’s obedient to the Lord. I think even more so than me, Jim’s got his eye on the up and coming Children’s Leaders still in their 20’s.

So, all that being said… I’m nothing special (actually I am, my mom tells me I am all the time). If you want to learn and grow from Jim like I have, the only thing stopping you is you. Seriously. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a children’s pastor of 30 kids or 300 kids, Jim will speak into your life and he’s created margin in his life to do this. Here are some steps I’d suggest.

• Buy his books. Jim’s incredibly methodical and efficient. I’ve heard him get asked many questions where he simply replies, “read my book such and such, I talk about that in there.” So if you want to learn from Jim, read his books. Then when you get a chance to ask him questions, do it in the context of information you’re wrestling with from his book. He’ll appreciate that. Click here to get some of his books.
• Read and comment on his blog. Brother Jim has been actively blogging for the last three years with several posts a week. Most of his blog posts are concepts and principles he’s taught over the years. Go through and read his blog, interact with what he’s written. Leave comments or ask questions. Click here to visit the blog.
• Go visit Jim. It may be the best money you spend this year. Brother Jim is hosting several one day events at his home church in Tennessee. The price is more than reasonable and you’ll get to learn from him in a close setting. You’ll get time to get to know him a little and him get to know you.
• Consider joining Infuse. His next one won’t be starting until the Fall, but there’s no better way to really get to know this man and him get to know you than spending significant time with him like you will in Infuse.
• Oh, I almost forgot. Subscribe to theClub. It’s his monthly leadership message he’s been doing for YEARS. Definitely sign up for that.

Continue Reading