Childrens Ministry Online

How my ministry team works

Posted on14. May, 2009 by Kenny.

Yesterday I introduced you to my ministry team. We were invited to teach a lunch session at Orange about collaboration. I think the five of us all had some great things to say about collaboration, but more than that we just told the story of how we’ve done it with each other. The videos below are what we taught. Gina’s video hasn’t been uploaded yet… so come back soon to check that one out.

KENNY CONLEY ONLINE COLLABORATION SESSION from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

SAM LUCE LEVELS OF ONLINE COLLABORATION from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

Jonathan Cliff What Online Collaboration Is Not from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

MATT MCKEE TOOLS FOR ONLINE COLLABORATION from chad swanzy on Vimeo.

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My Ministry Team

Posted on13. May, 2009 by Kenny.

This is my ministry team. Oh, I have more than one. I have my staff, who I LOVE working with every day! This is my peer ministry team. They’re Children’s and Family Pastors from across the country. We all met on the internet initially by reading each other’s blogs. Then we started emailing each other which led to phone calls, facebook groups and all kinds of other things. Over the last two years, we’ve become good friends and a great place for encouragement and ideas. I think everyone of us have walked away with ideas from our group and have implemented them in our own churches. Together, we’re getting better at what we do and together, we’re serving more kids than any one of us would alone.

Two weeks ago at Orange, the five of us met in person for the first time. What a blast! We hung out a lot. It was like a family reunion. If you saw us at Orange, I hope you didn’t think we we’re stand off-ish or exclusive at all, we were just excited to all be together.

Why am I writing all of this? It’s my challenge to you. Outside of your staff, do you have anyone else that challenges you to be better professionally? I went nine years without this in my life. My only regret in ministry is that I would have had this earlier. So, what are you waiting for?

In the picture:
Jonathan Cliff
Matt McKee
Gina McClain
Sam Luce
Me

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Orange 09: Preconference – College Ministry 101

Posted on13. May, 2009 by Kenny.

So, why are you posting notes about a College Ministry session on a Children’s Ministry website?

1. Technically my role is the Next Gen pastor and it’s my job to oversee College Ministry. This is why I did this pre-conference session. I put all my notes on the blog so it’s easy for me to find later. So, it’s kind of a convenience things for me.
2. Just becasue it’s College Ministry doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from them. Will your kids in preschool eventually enter college? Do you have any college students serve in your ministry? So, it’s probably a good idea to know something about college ministry.

Like I said before, I’m going to oversee college ministry here at Gateway. I don’t have much experience in college ministry. I’ve been in ministry and I’ve been in college. Does that qualify me? Seriously, my knowledge of college ministry tripled at the Orange Conference. So, here we go:

Overview:

This pre-conference was taught by Chuck Bomar. He’s amazing… the grand czar of college ministry. For a good portion of the pre-conference, I felt like I was in a sociology class looking into the way college students think. It was really detailed, but really good. I think I would have connected more if I was actually a College Pastor, but it was helpful. The final part of the final session was all application and it helped me tremendously.

History:

This age stage really developed in the last 100 years.

In the late 1800’s, child labor laws are passed keeping kids from working and sending them ot schools. In 1910 and 1912 the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are formed since kids are not working. Older teens were still working though. However, during the Great Depression, teenagers were the first ones let go from jobs, so now there was a need for High Schools. In 1930, the first high school in New York opens. After depression, companies are hiring more educated people, so high school becomes a necessary step. In the 1970’s the church first recognizes high school students as a age group to focus on. In 1900, less that 10% of age group in college. Today the number is more than 65%.

Characteristics of this age (18-25)

• Prolonged adolescent thinking/living
• Delayed family life
• Financial dependence

Many churches start a college service:

• Rarely accomplishes what we think
• Temporary solution
• Overly focused on a church service
• Inherently teaches disunity
• Makes discipleship more difficult
• Has teaching difficulty

Ultimately college age is a transition time much like moving from elementary to middle school. The purpose is to transition them from High School to Adult life. We want to protect our investment in these lives. Whether they have grown up in our church or came during college, we want them to fully integrate into our church.

Philosophy

Chuck spent a lot of time talking about philosophy. College students are in the identity formation phase of their life. They don’t need to be told who they are or who they need to be, but someone to walk with them and help them discover their identity.

Application

You don’t need a David Crowder or Louie Gigleo to pull off a successful college ministry. You need seasoned adults (probably the age of the college studetn’s parents) who will form relationships with these students (intergenerational relationships). Again, the focus is assimilation. This happens through home gatherings, justice/service projects and occasional retreats. Ultimately, college ministry is not student ministry on stereroids.

My Take Away

My job description states that I will oversee our college ministry at some point. Up until this point, my only thoughts of college ministry was a college service. This meant finding a leader first. Someone who could teach and lead. With this thought, I knew that it would probably be another year before we attempted to start something like this.

However, this session turn my thoughts of College Ministry on it’s head. The idea of a ministry based on groups really fits with our church’s philosophy. If this is the case, we can probably launch a college ministry this fall. So, I’m encourage. I also work with college students in our Children’s Ministry. This information will also help me know how to best interact with them.

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Team Orange

Posted on06. May, 2009 by Kenny.

Last week it was my privilege to take my staff to Orange. Perhaps you saw them.

Last year I attended Orange just a few days before coming on staff at Gateway. It was very hard to not want to just jump in and making 101 changes right away. Instead, I changed the few things that I could and waited for the right time. In September I had a few of my staff watch “The Essence of Orange.” Leading up to Orange, we were all discussing how this would work in our church. Now that Orange is over, we’re talking less about “if” and “how” and more about “when.”

I’m very proud of my team. We’ve undergone many changes this year. The team has changed a lot in the last 12 months. We’re serving more children and we have a stronger volunteer base. I’m excited to walk into this next season of equipping families with these people. GO TEAM!

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TwitterChurch revisited

Posted on05. May, 2009 by Kenny.

Almost a year ago I wrote this post. It was about a church in Michigan that integrated twitter into it’s services.

Just the other day Time did a story on this church. Read it here.

I’m challenged by what this church is doing.

Twitter has been around for close to two years and too many people still don’t have any idea what it is. It’s kind of like this commercial below (pay attention at 0.33 seconds in).

Churches talk about innovation and their need to be creative, yet so many haven’t event embraced the dozens of ways that twitter can be used.

Last week I was at Orange. It was my second year. The first year it was an experience. This year I was a part of a community sharing an experience. Guess what year was better?

What too many people don’t understand is that twitter creates and enhances community. Isn’t that what churches are dying to create? Wake up church and smell the tweets.

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Stuff Christians Like author, John Acuff

Posted on04. May, 2009 by Kenny.

Here I am with the Stuff Christians Like blogger, John Acuff. This guy is the read deal. I’ve been reading his blog since he began and I get a kick out of it every time. I’ve you’ve been a Christ follower for a long time (probably more than ten years), you’ll love it. If you went to church camps or Christian Schools, even better. If not, you may not get all of it.

John teaches us that it’s okay to laugh at ourselves a little. Sometimes we need to lighten up and take it easy. Sometimes the humor points out flaws that need to be addressed. Regardless, SCL is good for the soul. At least it’s good for mine.

Take a look at me with John. If I leg dropped him, I think it would kill him. I’m a giant! Instead I just give him a side hug, just they way he likes it!

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“Think Orange” give-away winner

Posted on04. May, 2009 by Kenny.

Here I am with Karen Tolmich, the winner of my “Think Orange” give-away.

We actually played twitter tag for two days to connect, but it eventually worked out… she got her book. I bought a dozen of these books for my team as well. I’ve thumbed through most of it already. Great book for anyone leading an “Orange” ministry or even thinking about going “Orange.”

So, if you didn’t pick up a copy – you’ll have to wait until this summer. However, it’s worth the wait!

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Orange 09: Breakout C – Message: Rules of Engagement… the Art of Communication

Posted on04. May, 2009 by Kenny.

This session was led by a previous White House Communication Director. He had many great things to say about communication.

Communication is about understanding people and having conversations. It’s about content and delivery.

Communication is both an art and a science. We need to master the art and understand the science.

Life boils down to two things:

• Uncontrolled events
• 10,000 hour rule (working hard)

You are always communicating, even when you say nothing.

When in sales, you focus on the relationship. The sale is the fruit of the relationship.

Persuasive Conversation

The goal of conversation is to affect behavior (occasionally it is to raise awareness)

Two keys to persuasion

• Be likable (be yourself). Humor is only a tool if you’re funny. Be reasonable.
• Be honest. Don’t be intellectually dishonest. We love to tell stories and we don’t let the facts get in the way.

Concede when necessary… one of the most important tactics. Making concessions when necessary build credibility… but don’t take your time.

Concede for a few seconds and then make your point. People will identify with you.

Cognitive Disciplines

The brain has a need for consistency.

When attacked with negativity, the brain shrinks, when positive it expands allowing to take in more information.

Dissonance- Raising your guard.

Ways to decrease dissonance

• Always lead with the positive.
• Humility – You will win more points, debates and conversations by losing.
• Watch your body language – Only 7% of communication is verbal.
• Tone – can be dismissive and condescending. When we talk about things normal in our life that is not normal in another person’s life, we hurt them. The #1 platform for being tone deaf is email. Email is not the place for sarcasm or discipline.

Message Preparation

One Sentence Rule – Say what you want to say in one sentence. Start with it, end with it and work it in.

Message box – The boundary between what you don’t’ know and what is not appropriate.

Be disciplined. You cannot be an expert on everything.

“I don’t know” can be the most intelligent thing you can say.

“I’m not an expert on that” or “I can’t really speak to that with so and so not in the room.”

The goal of any message

• Clear: Say what you have to say.
• Concise: Economy of words.
• Compelling: Assume the questions “So what?”

Crisis Management

• Speed – You have to move fast.
• Transparency – Be open. “This is what we know right now”

Lawyers are the enemny of both.

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Orange 09: Breakout A – Partnering with Parents to build faith skills

Posted on04. May, 2009 by Kenny.

Five basic things to take ownership of their faith and make it personal

1. Navigate the Bible
Children should know how the smaller stories within the Bible work together to tell God’s bigger story.
The Bible is a place where they can go to find verses that will help them with specific questions.

Find toddler Bibles to recommend.
What to expect from your church when you’re expecting.
Bible story time lines.

2. Personalize Scripture
Parents and leaders need to encourage children to memorize scripture so they can apply it in everyday situations.

Let kids pick scriptures to memorize.

Have the leader and the parent memorize the verse!
Challenges in the small group.Parents put scriptures on the mirrors, on the wall, rear-view mirror.

3. Dialogue with God
THe environments created at home and church will be one of the first places children and teenagers learn to pray.
Look for opportunities to encourage them to practice talking with God.

Popsicle sicks prayers, Pray for whatever is on the stick.
Pray for Christmas cards/pictures.
Small Group leaders pray for the kids and remind them that they are praying. Kids praying and then seeing results helps them see God working.

Small Group leaders model prayer.

4. Articulate Faith

Create a safe place to talk about faith.
The process of discussing and wrestling with what they believe will be the key for children to make their faith their own.

Tell the kids stories of how you found faith.

Small Group leaders – Be open to sharing your story.

5. Worship with your life

It is important for children and teens to know how to give back to God and serve him in the way they live their everyday lives.
Encourage them to put this into practice by singing praises, following God’s commands and serving others.

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Orange 09: Session Three (Reggie, Perry and Andy)

Posted on04. May, 2009 by Kenny.

Reggie asked about sermon prep:
Andy prepares all day Wednesday, half the day on Thursday and reviews most of Saturday evening.
Perry was elusive. He said he downloads Andy’s message. It seems that Perry’s schedule changes.

Kids for so long have been bored with church.

Many parents take their kids to worship and say “I want my kids to see me worship.” How egotistical is that? If your kids haven’t seen you worship the rest of the week, your teaching them that you’re a hypocrite.

Middle Schoolers scare the crap out of Perry.

When you’re giving a message, speak like it is your child is in the audience and it is their last chance. If you’re more concerned about covering the material, you’re not concentrating on reaching that person.

Authenticity: I am way more concerned about reaching someone as opposed to doing a good job.

Many preachers are acting. They’re carrying out a role or a model, not being themselves. They aren’t being authentic.

Jesus forgives our sins. People identify with our struggles and weaknesses way more than with what we get right.

Andy said, “If we speak from our weakness, we’ll never run out of material.”

The importance of a story:

• We remember stories
• We remember jokes
• We’re part of a story

Don’t give me points, tell me stories.

Create tension, just like any good story. Turn the message into a story. Jesus told stories.

Use visuals, but be way ahead or else you’ll kill your staff.

After the tension is resolved, the rest is boring. Be sure to use your visual at the highest point of emotion.

Christians and non-Christians have way more in common than they have different. Plan your message to talk to people, not a sub-set.

Look at your content through the lens of your neighbor, not your deacon.

Be committed to allowing the text to speak and not you trying to make it say what you want to talk about.

Stay in the text long enough so the people can know what it means. Don’t rush through the text.

Youth and kids are the church of today. teach them to get into the Bible and the Bible will get into them.

It is our job as the older generation to prepare the way. We pay the way. We fund it!

Andy says, “We grow through our kids and student ministry.”

Are people here becasue of your kids?

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